Kung Fu Scott's Teachings

Happy Holidays everyone!

Stay awesome!

I am awesome because I am on winter break, I have a 4.0 in grad school, I can play Rock Band on hard difficulty, and I'm drinking a Molson Canadian!

If you'd like to tell me why you are awesome, please do it in the comments!  I'd love to hear about your awesomeness.

Hey everyone! For those of you who have not been properly informed, I started work at Forest Oak Middle School teaching English to sixth and seventh grade students this year. Last week was the first week for kids, and it was overall a good week! While my students are not where I want them to be with respect to content knowledge, not even close, I am confident that I will be able to make improvements in their reading and writing ability. They may not even be where I want them to be when they leave this year, but if they improve at all I will be thrilled. The reason being I have yet to discern a noticable difference between what the sixth graders can do and what the seventh graders can do.

I do not have any behavior problems in my classes, and I think it is because the kids are afraid of me. I have fun with them, but I think they realize I am very serious about giving and receiving respect. At any rate, this is a huge bonus. Not having to deal with behavior means more time to teach the subject I love.

My graduate courses start this week and I am none too thrilled. These courses are going to be a waste of time that force me to do work I do not really want to complete. This will take away from my planning time for the classes I am teaching and force me to be concerned with my own grades. I see this as unfortunate, especially since most of my learning is going to happen in the classroom. Also, this only adds to the frustration of being paid for 3.5 hours of work everyday, a per diem of $76.99. Currently I am working 8-10 hours per day in order to earn my cool 3/4 of a hundai. With the start of classes, I suspect that number will rise to 10-12 hours. I thought this program would be a good deal, since MCPS is paying for my master's degree, but I can see how they get the better deal with respect to dollars for time.

Good luck to everyone going back to school for another fall semester!

I have not posted a journal entry in a while, and that is mainly because I have busy with school and employment related things. You all know that I am attending graduate school for Education in the fall, but what you may not know is that I was offered a paid internship through Montgomery County Public Schools. This means that MCPS will pay for 24 of my 30 remaining credits and will also pay me a stipend/small salary during the year. In return, I must commit to working in the county for two years after my graduation from the program. I am excited about this opportunity, and I am looking forward to teaching this year.

That is right, I said that I will be teaching this year. As a paid intern, I will have my own classes asopposed to student teaching someone else's class! This means more responsibility, more work, but I will probably also enjoy it a lot more. But I have been finding out that this is not an easy path to walk, even now in the summer, because the process is rather daunting. Now that I have been essentially employeed by MCPS, I must interview with the principals of different schools in the county. I have to call the schools with vacancies and find my own job. Then, I have to inform UMD and MCPS HR in order to do the necessary processing. My first interview is this Thursday with Northwood HS. I think I would prefer to teach at this school, if for no other reason then because they already have a partnership with UMD, making the hoop-jumping far less... uh... jumpy. They are hiring four English interns, and six of us will be interviewing. There is no guarantee, but I like my chances.

In addition to these things, I have to attend the graduate school informational meetings over the summer. They have so far been a waste of time, saying things such as, "Later this summer you will get more information." I believe that more information starts coming my way on Friday.

Beyond that, I have been staying out of trouble and trying to have an enjoyable summer. So far, I do not have anything to complain about!

Cheers!

Yes, per the subject of this entry, I will finally be graduating with a B.A. in English Language and Literature. I am very excited! With the exception of obsurity, like being shipwrecked on and Island where you had to continuously capture a monkey for shots of rum, or following in Babes's footsteps by making it to Toyland, I have had about the most bizarre path to an undergraduate degree one could imagine.

Here's a general rundown

1. Two years at UMBC (starting in 1998) - Majoring in 10+ different subjects, including SCUBA diving, only to drop out and piss it all away. I accomplished nothing at UMBC. In fact, I used to pretend to drive to school and would instead go see movies and play video games. Part of my failed experience at UMBC was my fault, but the school sucks for unrelated reasons as well.

2. One enrolled semester at C-cubed (Carroll Community College for the uninitiated). I say enrolled, because I never went to a class and I never dropped out. Trust me, this is the easiest way to fail your classes.

3. Then came the three year stint at Zurich working on insurance investigations. There is no other job in the world that makes you hate people as much as being an insurance investigator does. You learn the people are inherently greedy and selfish, and this realization makes you sad because it is the circumstances (the the insurance company imposes on you) that makes the people this way. Also, dealing directly with people claiming McDonald's made them too fat was no picnic.

4. Back to C-cubed. This time I attend classes and retake all the ones I failed previously. I do this because I have a newfound interest in being a teacher and not dealing with adults as much in the working world. Sure, I'll have to deal with parents who want their children to succeed, but that's not so bad (and not the main focus of the job). I prove to myself that I am not an idiot who is unable to be successful at the college level by earning a 4.0 and a Summa Cum Laude A.A. degree.

5. Finally, by 2005, I find myself enrolled at UMCP (University of Maryland, College Park). Oddly enough, this is the school I wanted to attend in the first place, but did not want to take out a loan to dorm. In retrospect, this was extremly foolish, especially since I ended up moving down to the area anyway. I majored in English for my undergraduate studies and happily report that I will be graduating with honors from here as well. My one bad semester (3.2 GPA in this semester due to 4 hard ass professors in one semester - OUCH) will prevent me from being Summa Cum Laude once again, but that isn't such a big deal. I've already been accepted into the graduate school for education, so my grades are no longer important. That being said, I'm still proud that I will graduate with honors from a school that is ranked in the top 20 in both of my programs of study (English and Education). Only, I just wish it didn't take me nine years to earn a four year degree. Okay, six years, if you decide to throw out the three years I spent at Zurich and not enrolled in college. Still, I feel like I took too long. But then again, taking too long is much better than not making it at all. Four years ago, I never thought I'd make it back this far.

Facebook, Myspace, LiveJournal...

I have enough trouble maintaining one account, let alone three. But wait, I just learned that I can import all my livejournal entries into facebook! That's sweet like the tiny marshmallows in hot chocolate. Man do I love those marshmallows!

Now for fun, here is a picture of a monkey pirate:

How do you get an elephant into a VW?
Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.

How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagon bug?
2 in the front and 2 in the back

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
Can't get the fridge door closed.

How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
There's a VW bug parked outside it.

How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge. A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!

How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.

How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO

How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
The fridge isn't not large enough to hold them all.

How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
Depends on the number of elephants.

What did the fifth elephant in the VW bug discover?
The sun roof.

The Lion (Animal king) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
They were stuck in the VW bug.

How many giraffes can you fit in a VW bug?
None, the elephants are in there!

What game do four elephants in a VW play?
Squash

How can you tell if there's an elephant in the back seat of your car?
If the front wheels don't touch the ground and someone keeps stealing your peanuts, it's probably an elephant.

What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!

How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door. 2. Insert elephant. 3. Close door.

How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Insert giraffe. 4. Close door.

How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge?
The door won't close.

How do you know there are *three* elephants in your fridge?
There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.

Why don't elephants shut the refrigerator door?
They are afraid with the light out.

Two cats passed away in two months. Very Sad.

I will miss you Onyx. You always knew how to cheer me up, and I hope you know the joy you brought to my life.

I think I am going to be sad for a little while.

Just as I predicted, there were not any "big movers" in this weeks Power Rankings. Several teams moved three spots in the rankings, but the biggest move was made by the Minnesota Vikings, who fell four spots after this weeks loss to the Bills.

After four weeks of football, the NFL is left with only three undefeated teams. Two teams from the AFC, and one team from the NFC. Four teams have yet to notch a victory, two teams from each conference.

The Colts have still scored the most points in the NFL at 121 total. The Chargers have given up the fewest points, surrending only 23 through their three games. The Bears have given up 29 through four games.

( Enough with the stats, take me to the rankings! )

This evening my cat Shamrock was put to sleep due to ongoing health complications.

I am very sad. This was essentially my first real pet. I'm sure he meant a lot more to me then I meant to him, but I will miss him all the same.

I do not deal with death very well. When someone (or in this case some animal) I know dies, a part of me goes with that someone.

Shamrock was always there for me no matter what. I could have a good day or a bad day. I could have been nice that day, or a stupid jackass. No matter what, that little guy was always there to let me know he loved me. That is a sense of security in emotion that can only be provided by a pet. That comforting feeling was a gift from Shamrock, a blessing in my life. I will never forget how much he meant to me.

Note: I'm sorry if this is overly sentimental, but like I said, I do not deal with death very well. I've never lost a pet since I've never had a pet to lose. Now that I have... I know how much it sucks.

Rest in peace little buddy.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Over the next few weeks, the power rankings will become more stable, and teams will slide up and down far less frequently. Sure, the rankings will still change from week to week, but a team may only rise and fall a few positions, as opposed to possibly five or more places.

After three weeks of football, the NFL is left with seven undefeated teams. Four teams in the AFC, and three teams in the NFC have yet to lose a game. The AFC North is the only division to have two undefeated teams thus far (Cincinnati and Baltimore).

The NFL also has seven teams who have yet to win a game. Five of those teams are in the AFC and just two from the NFC. The AFC South (Houston and Tennessee) and the AFC West (Kansas City and Oakland, both had byes this week) each have two teams who have yet to win a game.

The top team with respect to points scored is the Indianapolis Colts at 90. The San Diego Chargers (who had a bye this week) have surrendered the fewest number of points so far at 7.

( To see some more analysis and the power rankings click here. )

Dear Congress,

This is not communist Germany or Ancient China. Do NOT put up a 700 mile long fence along the U.S. and Mexico border. If you need to do something about illegal immigration, handle it in a way that respects a democratic and free society. Enforce current laws, make work visas for emagrants reasonably attainable, and work with foreign governments to establish better controls. If you need to pass new laws, that is fine too, just do not build an eyesore separating our country from Mexico.

I do not really have a solution to immigration, but I do know a stupid idea when I see one. This fence building idea, is one such idea.

Well, week two in the NFL has just wrapped up. I am doing this week's power rankings during the MNF post-game show! Take that ESPN! Eleven teams are 2-0, ten teams are 1-1, and eleven teams are 0-2. Teams in this week's power rankings may have jumped around a bit, but that is to be expected given that we are only two weeks into the regular season. Keep that in mind as you go through the list.

( Click here to see the Power Rankings )

9/9 Genius You are 87% knowledgable and 92% intellectual.

Amazing! You have an incredible brain (intellect) and a powerhouse of information (knowledge)! Keep up the impressive work-- we all bow to you.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on knowledge You scored higher than 99% on intellect

Link: The Knowledge vs. Intellect Test written by rattytintinface on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Played in a poker tournament tonight.

I won and profited $205.00. Good tournament.

Now to use this money to pay some of the rent... sigh.

Some of you may or may not know, but I am keeping NFL Power Rankings for this football season. I rank the conferences seperately, meaning the AFC and NFC will each have teams ranked from 1-16. Every week on Tuesday or Wednesday, I will update with my new rankings for the week.

These early rankings are very volitile, as teams spend a few weeks trying to establish themselves in the league this year. So, how did the teams shake out after week one?

( Read more... )

After much thought, I have decided not to renew scottfairley.com. I have made this choice for a variety of reasons, but the only thing you live journal folks need to know is that I will likely return to posting news, information, and insights back into this journal.

I do not have much to say at the moment, except to tell you all to watch Lost, especially if you have not seen it yet. I maintain that Lost is the second best show on television.

"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe."
- Richard Gere

Stop being so difficult!!

Congratulations Ina and Andrew!